sometimes when you are listening to a song, over and over again, and about the 34th time it starts talking to you. Like a person, saying the words precisely with the intention of engaging you in a conversation. I don't know, is that cliché?

who are you?

the last recluse?

who are you?

the last canada goose?

who are you?

what is it with you?

It's not a quarter life crisis, or an epiphany waiting to occur. Just a question, asking me to look a little further than I have in the past three, four, six(?) months. It makes me wonder why it feels like I am not getting anything right. Maybe close, but not exactly right.

I have to say, I am pretty happy. Or something resembling happiness, resolved may be a better word. It doesn't make sense though, nothing is resolved. The only friends I have in this town have left for the holidays, flown away to their respective nests. I am so confused about my path of education, confused about philosophy, political science, co-op. It would be easier, if someone would just let me know if I was doing it right, or headed in the right direction. There are no exams to evaluate my performance.

Every winter break feels the same, I guess for the past few years I have designed my own traditions. I have mostly spent it in Iowa or Ottawa. This time it will be in both. Last christmas I was in Iowa, at the movies watching....I can't remember. I remember our car being frozen shut though. The christmas before I was in Ottawa, excited at the prospect of living here someday, long gone is that excitement. I spent a lot of it msn talking to friends. Us escaping our families for the comfort of cyber space.

But thats what I want now. family, a lively, jolly annoying family. I guess I should make some effort too, it only makes sense. I could use some good food right now, naan sounds really good. Warm, buttery naan.

I am not a big fan of holidays, they give me time. I don't like the feeling of free time. I only like wasting time when I am avoiding something. I dont know.

ah, thats a good reminder that my holidays haven't started yet. one more exam to go.

I miss you, guys.

I miss posting.

who are you?

the black canoe

who are you?

the last of the immune

who are you?

you rode out of view

as far as I knew it was you.

certainepic.