belief. this irrational, unequivocal phenoma of testifying on behalf of what cannot be seen, cannot be shown, and thus cannot be proven. Whether it is my belief in Allah, or your belief in aliens, despite the object of belief there is beauty in it. there is mesmerizing beauty in what fills your mind, body and soul to this point where you can see no other light than of that which you believe.
No other factor in my life has provided me with such sheer influence and motivation than having conviction. And no other factor in my life has left me more astray than failing to gather conviction.
So no matter how sinister my belief is, no matter how unresolved, I choose my convictions. For they are my armour. These questions about 'what do I believe in?' are oblique. I cannot name what I believe. the names, the labels have been taken. I may state I am muslim, but I am not you, or them. What implication that provides may not hold water for me. I believe in God, I believe in Allah. But it is not your god, or their god I believe in. My God does not cater to your definitions. My God is not always a 'he', my God does not kill, my God is not irrational.
I can tell you I believe in love, but it is not the love you speak of. I don't belief in forevers, or soulmates, or fairytales. My love is only another name for committment and compromise, in its most beneficiary form.
I believe in law, and justice. but not justice that you can buy and laws that apply to only the weak. So it is not this law, or government I believe in. My justice does not pretend to be blind, my justice lusts mercy.
The sensation of being one with your conviction, the feeling of selfish righteousness that compells me to do good, is the same feeling that gives me strength. This sensation that allows me to become indifferent to peoples flaws, and correct mine; that allows me to become naive of menace.
love has given me something, morality has always given me something, God has given me everything, for that reason I can take the risk of being irrational and proclaiming faith.
And for that reason I cannot believe in the future that has yet to come.
ramblings aside, exist in your present convictions.
No other factor in my life has provided me with such sheer influence and motivation than having conviction. And no other factor in my life has left me more astray than failing to gather conviction.
So no matter how sinister my belief is, no matter how unresolved, I choose my convictions. For they are my armour. These questions about 'what do I believe in?' are oblique. I cannot name what I believe. the names, the labels have been taken. I may state I am muslim, but I am not you, or them. What implication that provides may not hold water for me. I believe in God, I believe in Allah. But it is not your god, or their god I believe in. My God does not cater to your definitions. My God is not always a 'he', my God does not kill, my God is not irrational.
I can tell you I believe in love, but it is not the love you speak of. I don't belief in forevers, or soulmates, or fairytales. My love is only another name for committment and compromise, in its most beneficiary form.
I believe in law, and justice. but not justice that you can buy and laws that apply to only the weak. So it is not this law, or government I believe in. My justice does not pretend to be blind, my justice lusts mercy.
The sensation of being one with your conviction, the feeling of selfish righteousness that compells me to do good, is the same feeling that gives me strength. This sensation that allows me to become indifferent to peoples flaws, and correct mine; that allows me to become naive of menace.
love has given me something, morality has always given me something, God has given me everything, for that reason I can take the risk of being irrational and proclaiming faith.
And for that reason I cannot believe in the future that has yet to come.
ramblings aside, exist in your present convictions.
3 comments:
That was uplifting.
Say: Oh you who disbelieve, [109:1]
say;
oh you who disbelieve,
I worship not which you worship.
right?
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